Do you ever get to a point when knitting is just no fun? I just have. I mean, I enjoy the process, and the finished product, but I can't stand deadlines. Hate them. Unfortunately, right now, everything is deadline knitting.
And I realize, when I knit like this rather than for pleasure, just how LITTLE I know about knitting. I mean, there is more than one cast on? What? Color knitting? How does that work? (I suck at Fair Isle, by the way. How much Fair Isle have you seen on here? Exactly.)
And when knitting like this, it begins to really, really bother me that I don't know everything. It makes me feel like I am just no good. And I'm by no means a great knitter, but I do ok, I think -- my sweaters haven't fallen apart yet, and the hats and scarves I've made keep people warm, and what else is there?
And it doesn't matter, here, how good I am -- just whether or not I enjoy it. And I do. I can be as bad at knitting as I want. I can knit garter stitch lopsided washcloths and nothing else for the rest of my life, and that's ok, as long as I enjoy it. Or I can learn everything there is, and become a great designer, and as long as I love it, that's fine too, but I never, ever HAVE to. (But oh, wouldn't I like to.)
But, of course, right now? I'm not really realizing just how little all this matters, because it's just not as fun as it used to be. Now, the fact that I can't design, or know the proper fix for everything, seems like an isurmountable obstacle, and a sign that I should never, ever pick up needles again. And that...well, that's just dumb. It just means that knitting won't get boring for me for a long time, because there's still so much to learn.
This happened with beading, and I actually dropped it. But with beading, there is quite a bit more pressure to design, and alot of pressure to SELL. I don't want to sell; I just want to do what I love. You know?
And then there is the fact that knitting is physically hard on me. For some reason, I scrunch my shoulders up so much when I knit that I give myself tension headaches. And those morph into rather severe migraines. Of course, that only happens when I knit for hours...like now!
I am getting things done, though. The pieces for the cream-colored cabled thingie from the last post are all done. A sock out of a pair is done, completed in one day (thank you, worsted-weight, ankle-length socks!) and another is cast on.
In happy news, though, I am an aunt -- again! My second niece was born yesterday, and mom and baby are doing well. Tomorrow, I'm flying home to see them.
Anyway, friends, have a happy Thanksgiving. I'm not sure I'll be on on Thursday to wish it to you then, so I'll wish it now!